I took this picture of Lucy the other day. If she was a LOL cat she would be saying “I is on your exercise bike stealing your calories”.

Staff at a supermarket in Australia could have been justified in asking a customer this question when he was spotted behaving strangely. It appeared he was stealing food and had stuffed several sausages down his trousers before trying to walk out the door. He was stopped and searched and the sausages were confiscated. The manager of the supermarket was keen to point out that the sausages had not been returned to sale.

If you are thinking of robbing a convenience store you would think that the first thing you need is a good disguise. One man, however, appears to think differently. He robbed a store using an ingenious beer box disguise which he had obviously made himself. Despite his unusual choice of headwear the man managed to get away with $50 of cigarettes.

I am frequently frustrated when I come across people who fail to understand the difference between loose and lose so found this article particularly interesting. Its worth reading the whole article but amongst other things it points out:
“A bet you're unlikely to win is a losing proposition. If you're playing Scrabble and your opponent is winning, that means you're losing. You're not loosing. No matter how lopsided the score, you can take comfort from the fact that you're never, ever loosing a game--unless the board is stuck in a tree branch after a tornado and you're knocking it loose.”

Personally I can’t understand how people manage to confuse two words with completely different meanings, it only take a moment to read the sentence and its easy to see the correct word to use in each case. I do, however, take comfort in the fact that there are other people out there who find this just as irritating as I do.

I have seen a lot of really odd courses being offered at degree level but this has got to be one of the strangest yet. It's a MA in The Beatles, Popular Music and Society. The course which is composed of four 12 week modules and a dissertation looks at the postwar music industry and the importance of authenticity and locality according to this article. Quite why you want to spend your time doing such a course, I'm not sure, I'm also unsure what benefit the resulting qualification would have and how seriously a prospective employer would take it. Perhaps I'm missing the point? The Guardian have a quiz here entitled Would you pass the Beatles MA? I only scored 6 out 10, so apparently not.

Allergy advice- contains milk. That's the very helpful advice found on the side of a pint of milk according to this article. Whilst I appreciate that allergy advice is needed on certain products that might have hidden milk content, I do think that anyone who buys a pink of milk is aware that there is milk in the product. This reminds of a bag of nuts that I purchased at Christmas which had the helpful advice "warning may contain nuts". Whoever puts these warning labels on the products must think we are really stupid.

A delivery of beer meant for the Windsor Castle pub in Maidenhead ended up instead at Windsor Castle. The Royal staff had no record on the delivery which contained 12 barrels of larger. The mistake was resolved after a police officer made a call to the pub to see if they were expecting a delivery and the beer finally arrived at it correct destination 3 hours late. A Windsor Castle spokesman said: "It was very funny. But there's no way the Queen sits down in the evening with a pint."

I had to laugh when I cam across this quote from Russell Brand who is currently in the US. Whilst hosting the MTV awards he instantly made himself the most unpopular man in the country with the following:

"Some people, I think they're called racists, say America is not ready for a black president.

"But I know America to be a forward thinking country because otherwise why would you have let that retard and cowboy fella be president for eight years?

"We were very impressed. We thought it was nice of you to let him have a go, because, in England, he wouldn't be trusted with a pair of scissors."

What a great quote.

This is funny and well worth a read. It talks about something called the condom game where you pick three items from a shop, one being condoms and see whether you can get a reaction from the cashier. I won't spoil the punch line but it had me in stitches. What items would you pick?

Police in Wales who were called out to investigate an unidentified flying object quickly found that it was not an alien invasion but was simply the moon. It appeared the man who called them out was unable to identify the large glowing object in the sky as the moon. The conversation with the control room (below) makes interesting reading.

Control Room: 'South Wales Police, what's your emergency?'
Caller: 'It's not really. I just need to inform you that across the mountain there's a bright stationary object.'
Control room: 'Right.'
Caller: 'If you've got a couple of minutes, perhaps you could find out what it is? It's been there at least half an hour and it's still there.'
Control: 'It's been there for half an hour. Right. Is it actually on the mountain or in the sky?'
Caller: 'It's in the air.'
Control: 'I will send someone up there now to check it out.'
Caller: 'OK.' The mystery was soon solved, as the exchange between control and an officer sent to the scene makes clear.
Control: 'Alpha Zulu 20, this object in the sky, did anyone have a look at it?'
Officer: 'Yes, it's the Moon. Over.'

This is quite funny, its a list of travel tips according to horror movies. It includes advice such as making sure you choose a desolate location with plenty of abandoned caves or mine shafts to visit. Other advice includes making sure you take at least one black friend because he will always be the first to die so will warn you about anything that might threaten the rest of the group. Advice on what to pack recommends taking revealing clothing or bathing suits but leaving out unnecessary items such as cell phones, first aid kits or a spare tyre as these will only weigh you down. Other tips including streamlining your group by having everyone head out on their own. Apparently this tactic is useful because then at least one person is guaranteed to make it out alive. It's all good advice and its worth reading the rest of the article.

A man on a hunting trip had the humiliation of actually getting shot by his dog. The man was shooting pheasants and had put his gun on the ground to collect a bird from over a fence. As he climbed the fence one of his hunting dogs stood on the gun, shooting him in his left leg. Officials are now investigating whether the dog was provoked.

Most UK residents know that swans are protected. It appears that new arrivals to country, however, are unaware there is a law protecting them and are catching them for food. Polish and Lithuanian immigrants have been seen dragging the birds away. The remains of swans have also been found along the towpath in Leighton Buzzard.  Luton Angling Club has now come up with a sign which they hope will make it clear that swans are not for eating. Killing a swan is currently subject to a £5,000 fine and six months in jail.

I found this on Crooked Brains and had to post it. It's so unusal to see so many cats in a tree at the same time. I have managed to get a picture of two of mine sitting in the tree together but this is just great.

A seagull in Aberdeen has developed a taste for cheese Doritos. The seagull has been nicknamed Sam. He walks into the newsagents when the door is open and steals the crisps but only seems to like the cheese flavoured Doritos. Once he is outside he rips the bag open and is joined by other birds that help him eat them.

Armed police called to a crime scene in Wuppertal in Germany were surprised to find a large stuffed toy. A woman had reported seeing a masked criminal through the window of a parked van. It turned out the suspect was actually a large toy beaver in the passenger seat of a car.

Firefighters taking part in a training exercise were meant to cut holes in the roof and walls of an empty house. Unfortunately they managed to cut holes in another house which was two blocks away from the empty one. The owner of the house is now claiming compensation for the damage.

A tractor and trailer carrying blocks of cheese caught light in West Sacramento. The result was that hundreds of pounds of cheese erupted in flames causing a huge fondue effect.

I came across these great Simpsons quotes. Among some of the good ones are “Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three “Highlander movies” from Comic Book Guy and “I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman” from Homer.

Police in South Korea are hunting a rouge monkey after the creature stole a pair of glasses. The monkey apparently broke into a tourist’s hotel room and nicked his reading glasses. Police have a good description of the monkey but are not sure what they will do if they find it, as there are currently no laws under which a wild monkey can be charged. The tourist should be able to claim the cost of his glasses on hi travel insurance.

Police arrested a kennel on legs as they saw it leaving a pet store. The kennel was leaving a Pets at Home store when police spotted it and pulled it over thinking it was slightly odd. It turned out the kennel contained a man who was stealing a kennel. What a master of disguise!

A farm in Staffordshire is offering pet wedding for people who want their pets to get married. They got the idea after performing a ceremony for two of their own dogs. Ceremonies cost £100 and include a cake and a minister. They have got seven ceremonies booked so far. How strange.

This was the moment when the world's tallest man met the world's shortest man. Bao Xishun is 7.9 feet tall as opposed to He Pingping who is only 2.4 feet tall.

Police in Iran have arrested 14 squirrels because they are suspected of spying. The squirrels were detained near the Iranian border and reportedly had foreign intelligence devices on them.

I like to cook and often experiment with new recipes with varying degrees of success. Sometimes, however, it’s the easiest things to cook that end up in disaster, mainly because you are generally doing other things whilst cooking them. I found some sausage rolls in the freezer this weekend and decided to cook them as a snack to use them up. Unfortunately in my rush I turned the oven setting to grill by mistake. After about fifteen minutes there was a strange burning smell and the kitchen was full of black smoke. This is the result (below) with me looking very red faced, needless to say they went straight in the bin.

A golfer in Nevada managed to start a grass fire when he tried to get his ball out of the rough. When he knocked his ball into the dry grass and tried to hit it back onto the fairway, the golfer managed to hit something that created a spark and the dried grass set on fire. The fire burnt 20 acres of grass before it was put out by 50 firefighters. Thats what I call a bad at golf.

You would expect the police to be very aware of simple security measures such as locking doors and windows but it seems not all policemen are. A police station in Northern Ireland was burgled after police officers went on patrol and left the windows unlocked and the alarm switched off. Great security guys.

I read this article about animals that have managed to get their heads stuck in things. From cans to walls, some animals don't learn from mistakes.

Cat in a tin.

A bank robber in Florida was caught after he was found drinking beer, opposite the bank he had just robbed. Not the best getaway plan ever. After robbing the bank he simply walked to the car park, changed his shirt and went to get himself a well earned beer. He was quickly arrested.

In a scam in Japan thousands of sheep were sold to unsuspecting customers who thought they had brought a poodle. The scam was only uncovered after one unhappy customer noticed her dog didn’t bark or eat dog food. After an investigation it turned out her dog was in fact a sheep.

A lamb.